Unaired Pilot (Vedro)
Synposis After a pair of video engineers botches the newscast, local TV station is forced to air questionable shows and movies instead, including "Cinema-X" (show in which a host, Alfred Bergman, airs an unfinished catastrophically inadequate neo-noir "Dilemma") and a sci-fi b-movie "The Wave He Gave". Plot Unnamed narrator tells a story about how John Logie Baird created what could be considered a first television set from what could have easily been the contents of his trash bucket. "News" (Russian Novosti) begin with a lacking opening title has is a mistake: Novasti. After a heavy-accented video engineer announces that he's going to correct it, changing it into Cyrillic non-sensical word НЬРдСЦ and then to large-fonted Pivo ("Beer"). Another frustrated video engineer notices that they're airing a broadcast from a wholly another channel, The Last National Channel (which is in an incorrect aspect ratio stretched from 4:3 to 16:9). In a black-and-white prologue Alfred Bergman adresses rain and how it distinguishes people. His program "Cinema-X" begins with Bergman credited as a host, a producer, "everything else" and "everything else apart from everything else". He tells a story about known unfinished movies, until pausing to destroy (in an over-the-top black-and-white sequence) the last known copy of an unnamed movie directed by Nelly Gulchuk in which Nikita Dzhigurda portrayed Aleksander the Great. Then he adresses the movie featured in his program - Dilemma, a Ukrainian independent neo-noir movie, which was barely composed out of surviving takes, all of which were bloopers. Airing the movie requires percussive maintenance to the DVD drive of the computer. Dilemma begins with a foggy shot of an unknown city and a misspelt title (Doolma), after which unexpectedly proceeds to the shot of Xander Burchill spitting in his cell. Actor portraying Burchill then repeteadly flubs his lines, stares at the camera and complains about a prop "case" (a few sheets of paper with a clip) which was presented to him in an incorrect way, eventually telling the director to "get lost". Another actor, portraying the Detective is then seen complaining about the prop as well, before reluctantly filming his scenes, which happen to include walking down the stairs, talking to someone named Vito and saying that he should shut up, giving a light to a joint with an unlit cigarette and "dying" at the hands of the rioter, who slits his throat with an open handcuff. After director complains that the set is a mess, a man in charge of the property on which the movie is illegally filmed shuts the filming down as the unguarded camera falls down, apparently breaking. Presented by PP Studio, a film by Samuel L. Bronckostein named The Wave He Gave starts, beginning with The Tester switching on an ECB FM Scan Receiver. As it reaches 112.0 MHz, a light appears, containing a blue face with an injured eye - Split Second. The latter attacks the Tester, who then wakes up headfirst in a plate with something black in it, asking what is this all about in Russian. The static continues interrupted by a few shots of Split Second and a shaky room with an ominous music. A man named Yarik is then seen filmed by someone who has an interest in filming his legs and face. Yarik says that he had enough and asks to cut the filming. After the end credits, a post-credits scene shows Yarik as the "legs" director tells him that they have filmed some shots for The Bucket. The Skeptic then joins the discussion firstly trying to persuade the director to film the fur of his dog as a backdrop for credits and then arguing with director and being in league with Yarik regarding the managing of two projects, advising him to concentrate on the main and faulty one. Abrupt shot of Uncle Vasya appears, standing in the kitchen concerned and accompanied with the sound of a drill. Cast Main Cast *'Yaroslav Kozak' as: **Detective (and an unnamed Ukrainian actor portraying him in Dilemma) **The Tester (segment "The Wave He Gave") **Yarik (credited separately as "Legs" and "Face") **Uncle Vasya (uncredited; post-credits scene) *'Mikhail Bondarev' as: **Xander Burchill (and an unnamed Ukrainian actor portraying him in Dilemma) Special Guest Stars *'Mykyta Rykunov' as The Last National Channel Newscaster (special uninvited star) Guest Starring *'Leonid Sipliy' (joins main cast in the next episode) as: **The Prisoner With a Face (and an unnamed Ukrainian actor portraying him in Dilemma) **The Skeptic *'Levyi Muzhik' (credit only; main titles only) *'Askold Tutylopydirskiy' in No Role of No One (credit only; main titles only) Sudden Actors None Uncredited *'Nikolay Yeriomin' as: **Epigraph Narrator (voice) **Heavy-accented video engineer (voice) **Frustrated video engineer (voice) **Alfred Bergman **"Dilemma" Director (voice) **Split Second **The Tester (hand double) **"Legs" Director (voice) Crew Soundtracks *"Being Crudely Awakened From a Nightmare To Brush Your Teeth" Written by Nikolay Yeriomin Performed by Zexzz *"Walking the Night" Written by Nikolay Yeriomin Performed by Errors in Geography feat. Zexzz Communal Universes Appearances In order of appearance. References Links *IMDb *Full episode on YouTube (unlisted) Category:The Bucket (Vedro) episodes Category:Web-series episodes Category:2013 episodes